Unrequited Love

I love how I can say the awkwardest thing and he will still smile.
I love how even on the worst of days, he is still kind.
I love the way he pulls away,
The way in which he simply stays.
I love how he understands without even meaning to.
Even during darkness, the light in him shines through.
Despite all of this being true,
I only wish he could understand the ways in which I try to say "I love you".

I'm not good at being by myself. At the end of the night, as everyone leaves, I am overcome with a deep sadness. Why? Because it's the beginning of the end. It's the beginning of loneliness.

i don't understand myself. i'm irritant and sad and i just don't want to do anything anymore. i feel like i'm sobbing on the inside and i don't know why. i've been told i should be happy but i have no idea how to do that. i've tried to fix myself but it isn't working. all this brokenness is beginning to show through and i'm falling apart. i'm numb but at the time, i'm in so much pain. i feel like i've been ripped apart on the inside and i'm trying to glue everything back together but the pieces don't fit.