i don't understand myself. i'm irritant and sad and i just don't want to do anything anymore. i feel like i'm sobbing on the inside and i don't know why. i've been told i should be happy but i have no idea how to do that. i've tried to fix myself but it isn't working. all this brokenness is beginning to show through and i'm falling apart. i'm numb but at the time, i'm in so much pain. i feel like i've been ripped apart on the inside and i'm trying to glue everything back together but the pieces don't fit.